Why?

     Why is it so hard to follow rule's to love someone to forgive them?
  I thought I have forgave these people who has hurt me over and over again but I let them back in and they do the same things makes me want to give up! I'm trying my hardest to change all negative things about my self but I running out of things to change..

      Then I began to ask myself if I'm the one whom needs to change? I pray about my ways and I still see no reason to keep changing who I'am to impress anyone whom don't like the real me!  I do have ways I would like to change as I like to think everyone do to....

    Some of these said people are Christian's others look up to and they in steal a value of our lord into there little kids and family member's... And how can we teach our kids something if we ourselves don't live by it?
I've listed some Scripture's that I've been lead to and has helped me understand a little bit more.

-Mark 3:25-27
  Similarly, a family splintered by feuding will fall apart.
And if Satan is divided and fights against himself,how can he stand? he would never survive.

    But these friends and family member's are letting Satan divide us! Satan has won! I've tryed, reached out in faith of being connected to these family members and nothing! We done nothing wrong to begin with and now its like the blame is on me,my kids my husband! Why so they could have people to themselves?
So everyone back home wouldn't find out whom you really are?


       My heart keeps coming to ( these few people) who I've tryed so hard to talk to, but wants no part of my family and I.... Still till this day I do anything for with a phone call... But I always end up hurt!
Another Scripture I found...

-Matthew 6:14-15
"If you forgive those who sin against you, Your heavenly father will forgive your.
But if you refuse to forgive others your father will not forgive your sins.

   Here we are reading this through out the bible and still I canit totally forgive because every-time I get hurt but being the person I'am I cant fully walk away! I fell as if I'm stuck in this black hole and canit get out....
I have a temptation to go and hit them in the face and say wake up your hurting everyone by seeking what you think is right but Clearly its not working! There's mom's, sister's little people whom which will never know I love them and would love to see them grow and be a part of there life, brother's who was so close and has a great lose in there life that only you want to take part of !

I've always thought as Christian's we are all brother's and sister's? We all share the same father, all Christian's some what share the same goal's in life to love,forgive to grow in our faith! Love and forgive each other..... Although I'm having a hard time forgiving these people loving them the way our lord loves us I'm trying! I'm continuing with my prayer's for us to move past this point of our life!

 Thanks for visiting and reading this post I've been wanting to write this for almost a year and I've prayed about this for over three year's Its time to pray,forgive and put all my trust in our father to take care of this to soften the heart's of these people to watch over them in there choice's as well as mine:)

 _gina