Submission>3

 

    When I thought about submitting myself fully to something or someone- I thought I was giving up apart of who I was.. I felt used an belittled, like I need someone to tell me what's best for me really? I wanted SELF CONTROL!

  I've always been definite and difficult... I never wanted to be labeled as being diffident or unaccomplished...

 I was determined  to be important and worthy.... At the end I lost me fighting all theses years to have control over what I feel and think is best I've missed out on some relaxed day's and loving moment's!

I read a scripture Ephesians 5:22-23
     And yes, the wife must submit to the leadership of her husband.

Now the little scared girl whom read this scripture seven years ago ran the other way.
Are you crazy submitting to him hahaha laughing all the way.. While thinking he isn't my daddy and I don't need him to tell me how to live my life!


Now the women at this key board can take accountability and recognize I was so wrong. I missed out on life I missed out and so did my husband... He tried to led me in ways I thought boy you are NOT my daddy! I didn't want to do what was expected of me and in so-many way's I ran to avoid submission or advice...

Today I sit in tear's because I want to take back the last seven year's of being scared running the other way hiding myself from being fathered!

Today I understand what my marriage has lost but also what my marriage has gained!My husband has let me do thing's my way for seven year's and for so long I felt good doing so but the truth is I took my husband faith and pride away from him...

Pushed him away for seven year's cause I knew all the answer and the whole time I KNEW NONE!

Now it's time to give back to my HUBBY and fully, unconditionally submit to him. Put my faith and trust in him knowing he will do right by his family.. I don't wish away the last seven years cause I went through them with a good man who stood by me and honored me, still doses I love this man with my whole heart body and soul! Now it's time to spend the next 80 years loving him unconditionally, and whole heartily submitting myself to him!

Ladies this don't mean we have no self worth or we aren't important or we can't accomplish anything this just means we will do it as a team together! I'm sure it will be hard going from me TO us but WE can do it!

            Thanks -Gina

Because of them!

   Mother's Day coming up and I battled for so long with being a mom! I thought for sure I would turn out like my dad and mom..... I knew I wanted kid's and a husband but I didn't want to right away... I wanted to wait till I was older and wiser.... I knew deep inside I wanted the American family dream just didn't know when or how!

  I was in a bad place in life a angry soul walking around waiting for someone to hurt someone to blame for all my pain in life...Smiles didn't come to often... Dream's were my only happiness for a while I had come to a place of unhappiness a feeling on loneliness...I had no one to love or to love me.....

I moved out into a hotel when I was 16 year's old I dropped out of school and worked to pay my own bills...It was the happiest I was in awhile free from hurting, no one to hit me no more black eye's no more yelling and telling me how bad Iam just me living for me!

 I was going no where doing nothing in life! Why would there be anyone to love some one like me?
I was wrong! Larry and I meet and he showed me a life I've never known a love so strong something no one has ever expressed to me before.....

 November 6 2006 I moved in with Larry and his two kid's Daniel and Gladys.... At 19 I became a mother of two and a (unmarried) house wife I guess you could say.....It was so hard to trust them and so easy to love them with all my heart!

 I wondered for so long what being a mother would be like and I loved every second of it! Their mom was and still is NOT around and they call me mom till this day! I married this wonderful man and gain two children soon after had one of our own Josie.... They changed me (saved me)!! Loved me when no one else did they stood by me good and bad moment's! They are my best friend's I'm still learning and growing I'm so proud to say I'm growing with them!

I wrote something I want to share!:)

A mother's love could never be questioned! Gentle hand's and tender kisses... Flower's bloom then shortly die off...Mother's love blossoms forever more... never to die! I look at you and my heart smiles, your my every wish my every dream...

To see you cry makes my heart scream.. I will never be one to put you down or judge you, your so perfect to me! Beautiful daughter's and handsome son my love burns like a bright and gentle fire never to be put out! My wishes are to watch you grow to love you more and more...help you shine in every way hard day's and bad dream's are sure to come just know mommy will always be on your team...

Pick up your every fall your my flower's I want to help you grow! My love could never be questioned for you three are my soul! I have a mothers day EVERYDAY because of you! I'm blessed beyond a doubt.. I want you to know I'm here today tomorrow, and forever too! Just wanted you three to know how much I really love you!


I love these three and to tell you the truth I have a mother's day everyday!! Every smile, hug every prayer.... every I love you..... Life without them would be unbearable! I wish each and everyone a very Happy Mother's Day I love ya'll and Be Blessed sweet friend's!

My three babies!:)

Great blessing's on my Birthday!

   
                                      I'm turning 26 year's old tomorrow!
At first I felt overwhelmed and (OLD).... I thought I would feel wise and like I'm getting a new start! For some reason up until last night I was NOT looking forward to growing  older this year!


This morning at two in the morning on the way to Memphis to drop off my hubby for work..... I had so much me time to think.. Everything that has happen to me and for me, all my trails and all my blessings!

My husband and I moved back to Savannah and bought our very on home, We faced a trail in life that just built our faith up so strong! Our family has grown closer in this past year! I can list a million thing's that has happen good and bad! But for me all that is going through my head is why don't I have my hubby on my birthday why are the kid's and I always alone?

  Question's second guessing everything in life! I want to move pass these negative thoughts in my mind and move past them fast! This morning on the way home I turned on 90.5 our local K-love station I needed and wanted to be inspired encouraged what better way then to worship?

My mind went blank all bad thoughts gone my feeling loved and not alone I started to list good thing's out loud about my past year ONLY GOOD!
My two girl's woke at this point,still talking to myself haha the girl's were talking and laughing among there self.....

 My four year old loves K-love she starts to sing out loud
"where you go I'll go"  where you stay I'll stay" when you move I'll move"
Then my oldest daughter starts to sing, tear's flooded my eye's, tears of happiness of joy! How could I second guess a new season in life?

 Why would I have my eye's set on bad and the past when GOD has a open road for my family and I..... I have a sat out to engage in full love, and forgiveness this year I'm young and a wife a mother of three...

I've been blessed with two amazing unwanted children! I've been with them for seven year's nw and they are mine there couldnt be a life without them:)I prayed to God for my very own child after more then three doctors telling me I would never carry We had a sweet baby girl.....

I'm thankful so thankful I made a goal list for this year of being 26 happy, wise, encouraged new loved brave!!!

-Pray more... More one on one time with GOD!
-Take more free time... forget the cleaning...
-less T.V and FB and Blogging more family time!
-Be free in the judgment world we live in today!
-Taking a trip saving money's nice but for once I want to say yea to a trip enjoy the money we work so hard for!!!


  I'm Gina I'm a simple 26 year old women of GOD , mother and wife...
I have doubts and question's I get down in life sometimes stressed!
At the end of the day I know I'm blessed and loved... I'm never alone
I'm older and beautiful and blessed beyond doubt.....

Five minute thought's!

What's new!


-Book's I'm reading....  The Respect Dare, by Nina Resner!
    Wonderful so far and I feel like there are some
good changes going on:)


-Kids are doing....  Gladys has started ball practice this past week or so..
Daniel is taking a break for summer sports, he wants more time to relax lol be a "bro" the was he puts it......
Josie has dance recital coming up, summer classes begin soon and we have started BEKA BOOK for home school:)


-Hubby and I are....   We are trying to find a medium for us! We go so long without one another and it's so hard to make time in the time he is home so this past two weeks we have had TWO date night's:) We loved every minute of them!


-Trips planing soon...    June is when we are going on a four day  weekend get away to Chicago to see my family....

-Trips we took.....   We went to Houston Ms to visit with Larry's family I have to say we has a blast!:)

Me and the Hubby:)

Josie and her Nana!

Daniel our handsome man:)

Josie and momma!

Momma and Daughter's!

I'm stuck! Help me,guide me?

I've been watching life pass me by! I watch as my friend's grow and move on , I see happy face and tear's of joy and lm stuck in a hole of darkness alone!!

  I want more then anything to have my hubby home to hold me keep me safe from the world.. The truth is I don't know if we even know each other anymore! I feel loss and ladies let me tell you I think (the not knowing) is getting to me faster then anything!

I see families in church, date night's and my heart aces! I want to run and cry just hide from all the people who have what I want!! I'm married to a wonderful man whom work's away from home and he work's so hard for our family! I have the family I've always wanted but why is it that I feel alone and abused in some sense?

 I'm not understanding why I'm married and alone for month's at a time.. Why WE have three Beautiful children together but I'm alone parenting them? I don't understand why my bed was bought for two but all that lays in it is a dream, a smell of you?

I feel out of place without my husband beside me to help guide our family and teach our kid's as they grow and become older! I feel like I'm drowning and he (my husband) is no where to help!

I understand I have a great hard working loving man! Wonderful father and trust me I've counted my blessing from day one but I've fought this feeling and it just wont go away! I keep fighting and it just appears again down the road over taking me in every way!

 I pray, I read my bible daily and still I feel seconded, abandoned! I feel like I'm fighting the world alone and the sad part is I'm not! I have a wonderful husband to fight it with me but he is never here!:(

I need to dig deep and understand I guess just lay my feeling's down but is it really this easy to forget? I need to understand? I need to grow up and stop being silly?

I fell there needs to be something to take place something big! I want to move pass this trail in life but for some reason I think my battle just begun!


Ladies if you have dealt with or have had to deal with something alone the lines...Please fill free to advise me.... My husband can only talk so much but I don't think it's helping!

Thanks for reading, posting my dear friend's you love is such a blessing!

Five Minute Friday...

Our Small Homeschooling Corner!

Josie learning hard:) Most of all having fun:)



I really began this journey about four month's ago, I started to teach sight word's and number's! We have sought out homeschooling because we fell  safe with only  us being her main learning source! She is so smart and wants to learn about anything!

I wanted to share some thing's we have tried in our schooling days:) I wanted to also share a few do it your self projected that I have found wonderful!

-I found a old desk and cleaned it up..Got some chalk board paint and painted the top of the desk twice...

  ---Josie is allowed to write on it practice her sight word's, her name and lots of letter's and she is enjoying copying what I write on my big chalk board!

-Letter box.... I bought some letter's put them in a box (not see through) make a whole at the top.. I only put the letter's from the sight word's we worked with that day in there just to help insure spelling them and recognize the letter's!

-----Josie pulls one letter tells what that letter is and the sound it makes then pulls another we do this until she can spell a word....

-Food has been a huge help with counting she loves to snack and so I added that to learning and it's a hit! We do raisins,grapes  and apple's!

-----She (Josie) counts the food and then I take some away and she will count whats left then I ask something like who has more or less.... if she gets it right she can eat them:)

-Letter's Ive found it super crazy to go through all 26 letter's at one time as the picture shows we practice on four letter's a day the on Friday's we go over all the letter's and word's....

-----We make it fun! Josie and I make up a letter dance it is so fun to walk around the house finding thing's that start with that letter and then dancing until the next person finds something else that starts with the next letter.....

I'm so blessed to be able to be a stay at home mom and teach my little one along the way:)

Every-day is new and I love to learn different way's to teach her and make it fun:) I like hearing input from other homeschooling parent's.......

Josie loved painting the noodle's and gluing them to the poster!
when I asked her what to call it she said NODDLE DODDLE....:)

Lead Me!

     

 As I start to type I can fill my head go so fast like there is so much I need to say but I'm just not sure how to word it... Sometimes in life we as mother's, daughter's wives and sister's... Can talk till we are blue in the face and no-one really ever understands us...Or it could feel that way..

I look around me and see groups of friend's, family gathering and I feel out! Lost! I began to ask myself is this really how I pictured my life would be?

I let evil in to my heart,I can't explain how much I talk! My husband could lol

I can tell you I have something to say about everything in my life! I want to be heard! I want to have a input on every move we make as a family...

Don't get me wrong I'm not crazy and I have family and friend's but sometimes thing's can get off track and you can withdraw and become distant from family and friend's... I like to say it's less trouble all the time! Go here do this type of thing....BUT IT'S NOT...

 What I have failed to do is let someone lead me without a fight! I failed to let my heart and body be guided! In many ways I talked and hardly listened. I know in my heart I want to sit back and let someone else take the lead.. But that's just not a normal for me!

My hubby is gone 28 day's for work! Such a wonderful man! Sometimes we don't talk for day's! So I have to be the head of the home and I have to act fast sometimes and not wait for any one's guidance or help! So I think I get stuck on being in control and speaking up for our family all the time I just forget to hand the role back to my wonderful hubby!:(

Galatians 5:16  So I say,let the Holy spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves.

Ephesians 5:23  For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church..He is the Savior of his body,the Church.

I've sat this past two day's and thought when is the last time I OPEN up my BIBLE and let the LORD LEAD me and my choice's? When is the last time I let the BIBLE and PRAYER guide my day's? When is the last time I've willing let my husband be the HEAD when he is home and I take my role as the BODY?

Oh dear friend's  I'm astounded to tell you it has been a while! I fall into a cycle and I don't allow anyone to break it or change it! I really believe I'm opposed to change! I don't welcome it in my heart!!!

I talk way to much and I want to admit to the world- MY NAME IS GINA AND I NEED TO STOP TALKING AND LET CHRIST AND MY HUSBAND TAKE THE LEAD MORE.....Ah that felt so good..

Now friend's now that I have got it all out the real work Begin's! It will be hard and I wont be perfect! I will still talk but I'm looking forward to my husband saying "Hey women sit let me take care of you! Let me make your day easier".

Friend's I'm ready to turn to the BIBLE to lead me! If you are feeling like you take on everything and it's so much to handle give it up to the LORD or the your HUBBY let them help...I've thought if I don't be super mom I wouldn't be a good wife or mom and even though my husband has told me a hundred time's "Gina your  great in every way and I'm  proud to have you as a wife and the mother of our children" I didn't trust!!!

We can get tried and I'm TRIED! BIBLE & HUSBAND here I come!