Guest Post

The Sleepless Night and Ultimate Shut Me Up

©Dawn Paoletta

Photo Credit:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kimonomania/3842267450/

　

　

"In your anger do not sin" Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,　 and do not give the devil a foothold.　

Ephesians 4:26-27

It was a bad night. Everything I planned backfired. I was feeling discouraged, defeated and a tad angry to boot. When I walked into our home I wasn't planning on a confrontation with my dear husband. I'm convinced he wasn't planning on it either.

Sometimes when we least expect it we find ourselves in confrontations anyway.

                                                   So there we stood face to face.

Whatever it was he said in response to me is unimportant now. But at the moment it may as well been a knife.

I felt pierced, wounded.

I shot back angry words and retreated to the bedroom; he to his chair.

I decided to escape reality by turning in early.

After all it had been a bad day.

I wanted to drift off on a peaceful boat of sleep.

Of course that boat eluded me.

Instead I found myself on drowning in a sea of unforgiveness.

My mind reeled and raced - I was as mad as a cornered porcupine and as stubborn.

I'm pretty sure there's no sleep for angry, cornered porcupines either!

I tossed, I turned. I refused to let go.

It was a long night, no doubt.

Did I mention my stubbornness?

Finally after a sleepless night, my restless heart and mind began to realize the choice.

I had to forgive.

Don't think I did not have a long talk with my Lord, giving every honest thought, emotion and argument to His patient, listening ear.

I did.

In the end I had a choice.

I had to choose whether I would turn my back on Jesus and continue to walk in disobedience or turn back to Jesus in obedience and trust.

It took one sleepless night

as well as one long dialogue telling God (boldly and honestly) all of my rationalizations, justifications and excuses about why I was right and my husband wrong.

Then He gently reminded me of my Lord and asked me to consider all of these things I shared in light of His love, His sacrifice and His example.

The ultimate shut me up.

I chose to follow Jesus.

Forgiveness is not always easy.

It's a choice.

Jesus made a choice too

and it cost Him everything.

It secured forgiveness for all and

the freedom to choose.

Oh, that we would walk likewise.

　

Submit to one another　out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:21

Dawn Paoletta is a writer who is finally coming out of the closet and following her dream to share her life lessons and insights with anyone who will listen. Recently laid up with a muscular injury has temporarily curtailed her career in fitness allowing her the golden opportunity needed to reorder her priorities and shift her focus to blogging her greatest passions: Living out her faith as a modern day disciple of Jesus Christ and enjoying spending time with her husband, daughter and family pets. Having worked as a Personal Trainer & Group Fitness Instructor most of her adult life she is a natural coach and encourager who can't help sharing what she's learned along her journey. She likes to serve up spiritual lessons learned with authenticity, grace and truth.
You can find her blogging most days at: Beneath The Surface: Breath of Faith http://beneaththesurface-dawn.blogspot.com/ and Fitness For The Fainthearted http://enthusiasticallydawn.blogspot.com/

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